Real leaders learn from their mistakes (and these are the 10 habits leaders need to stop!)

Andy McComments off.

Leadership…..Blah,Blah,Blah – without doubt Leadership is probably one of the most written about skills today.

In a world where being able to manage is not enough and being faster, better, cheaper and smarter have become the leader’s mantra it is becoming increasingly hard to ‘deliver’ whilst retaining peace of mind and calm approach.

Let’s be honest, it’s difficult to be a highly effective, respected and admired leader in a business environment that is changing faster than ever before. Great leaders understand that change isn’t simply something that happened in the past, we now live in a state of constant change.  The leaders we enjoy following are the ones who are very mindful of the complex, demanding and changing world we all live in. They know how to prepare and position themselves and their teams to see the changes coming and to handle them with ease and grace.

And yet, many Leaders approach the challenges in front of them by delivering through a singular preferred approach – regardless of their previous success rates, which reminds me of the quote attributed to Albert Einstein:

  ” The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

Learning from the mistakes we and others have made before us is a very effective way of ensuring we don’t make the same ones.

Let’s have a look at some of the most annoying leadership habits I have personally experienced – which

Habit 1 – ‘Thanks Mate’

As a term of endearment that doesn’t sound like a bad habit I know. In fact, I’m sure many would welcome the idea of their boss seeing them as her or his ‘mate’.  It only becomes a problem when it is perceived as a ‘mindless’ throwaway gesture which is used so glibly it sounds patronising instead of sincere.

Solution –  Forget ‘mate’ use their name instead, remember your colleagues are individuals – address them as such

“There is nothing sweeter than the sound of one’s own name.” Dale Carnegie

 

Habit 2 – What / Anything else?

We have all been in these meetings,  regardless of the topic or time you spend together, she ends the discussion with the question, ‘what else? or anything else? Even if there is nothing else to say she waits for you to come up with something just to answer the question and when you’ve finished speaking she once again asks ‘what else?’

Sometimes there just isn’t anything else and you just need to trust that you will be told if there is – don’t put colleagues under pressure to come up with subjects of discussions – they will just avoid conversations!

Solution – Thank them for their time and remind them your door is always open if there is ‘anything else’.

 

Habit 3 – It’s all in the eyes

I have to put mu hands up here – this is an improvement opportunity I constantly have to strive to!  I am guilty of keeping my eyes on a screen (or two) as a colleague attempts to engage with me, I know that eye contact is vital – and it drives me to distraction when it is done to me!!  Yet occasionally I can still give the impression that the screen is still the most important thing in the room.

Solution – Stop what you are doing and give colleagues your undivided attention and be sure to look at them.  Certainly, when I catch myself committing this rookie error, I call myself out on it – bringing “my bad” behaviour to everyone’s attention and apologise!

 

Habit 4 – Phantom of the office

Be there for your teams and colleagues, it’s commonly known that the “leaders” that colleagues dislike or distrust the most are the types who when they are around speak openly and passionately about how ‘important their staff are’ but make no effort to demonstrate it.  On the odd occasion they are physically present they seem mentally absent. They take more time  to speak about themselves rather than learning more about their people.

Being with your team is not just being visible – it’s about being approachable and accessible to everyone!

Solution – Spend time with your colleagues and get to know them, converse with them about things other than work,  they will thank and respect you for it. Don’t hide away or become aloof when there is a problem.

 

Habit 5 – Being in other people’s space

Talent doesn’t color inside the lines and they quickly tire of taking orders. Top leaders give their people ownership, they don’t stand over them. They get out of the way, turning them loose to explore, test, discover, and interpret.

The best leaders operate from a position of secured trust. They don’t constantly second guess. With an understanding that you can’t control every variable when mistakes happen, they back their people up instead of sacrificing them. Through their belief and support, they give their most effective people permission to do what they do best: Make things happen. In return, they get their loyalty.

Solution – Give your people the space they need to deliver without them feeling they are alone, sometimes your colleagues will need to fail to grow – it’s your role to give them space and support to develop

 

Habit 6– Monday mornings

The weekend has passed so quickly after such a long and arduous week at work. You were only just beginning to unwind and there it goes again your alarm clock reminding you it’s Monday morning and time to head back to the office. You arrive early in anticipation of another week ahead and the only thing you are dreading is your weekly management team meeting with the boss. The first thing you have to do every Monday morning is to let your boss know exactly what happened last week and what will be happening this week.

In terms of timing alone, it’s inappropriate, unnecessary and painful.

Solution – Choose another day or choose another meeting type! let them get back to work.  Use Mondays to look forward and Fridays to look back

“Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Habit 7 – Talking too much

We have all started a presentation with the boss in the room and he constantly interrupts and talks over the points I want to and am about to make. It’s easy to leave a meeting or presentation feeling undervalued and disrespected where it’s clear that it was only what my boss had to say that was important.

Solution – “First, let me finish. Then interrupt.” Brian Spellman

 

Habit 8 – Buzzwords!

‘Think outside the box’

‘Let’s ‘button down the risks’

‘ I may have a window for you’

‘Let’s take this offline’

‘Make it happen’

‘Move the needle’

‘Let’s give 110%’

‘Touch base’

‘Low hanging fruit’

‘Laser focused’

Solution – Ditch the management speak and talk normally; without the jargon.

“Jargon is a sure sign that intelligence has lost its way.”  –Marty Rubin

 

Habit 9 – Unclear Expectations

Whilst this does lead into #10 there are two types of leadership behaviours which frustrate people and will result in top talent leaving.  #1 Is the leader who has a vision but has no overall sense of how to get there, often the Vision becomes the most important priority and the activities are lost or discarded, particularly if they are not felt to be perfectly in line with the said vision.

#2 The leader who simply is not sure what they want – but instead of giving people space to work in and the opportunity to shape the activity, they attempt to point them in a confused and often contradictory direction, only to change their mind at a later date.

Solution – See Below….

 

Habit 10 – Changing the goalposts – Inconsistency

Remember the times when you were confident that you had excelled in activities your leaders had asked you to complete, only to find that when presented with your work they changed their minds or added new demands to the scope? The best leaders are transparent and genuine. You always know where you stand with them. There are no hidden agendas, they don’t say one thing to you and something else to another. Decisions are boiled down to what’s in the best interests of people and customers, not what’s easiest or most profitable. And they make themselves approachable and available. They recognize that keeping doors open and confidences private supplies them with a resource most leaders sorely lack: Reliable information.

Solution – Be authentic – remember we need each other to thrive.  A real leader understands that everyone takes their cues from them. And they act in the same way they want their people to react.

 

I started this post by stating that a great deal has been written about leadership which many would argue is the most important skill in the world today. That doesn’t of course make it easier to be a great leader but learning from the mistakes so many others have made before us can go a long way to setting us on the right path.

 

 

authenticity, development, leadership Posted in: Leadership, Mentoring